what I would tell my former self

As I recently visited the playground with our children I had the pleasure of watching a young mother to her young son, engaged in swinging. The sight reminded me of my former, not very experienced mommy-self.


I kindly smiled. Because I remember all the things I did not know. All the things I handled differently and was stared at by my family and friends. I want to write this list, things I would tell my former mommy-self, a unexperienced mother just dipping her toes into this sometimes humbling yet most times very scary parenting gig, with hopes of encouraging a mom somewhere out there.

Dear self,

First and foremost I want you to know that there is no reason you need to have this all figured out. You can learn alongside your baby and it is mighty fine with the world. No mothers were born with an infinity of knowledge. You, as a mother, are still as new as your baby is. You have only as much experience in parenting as your baby in being earthside. Be kind, caring and nurturing to yourself.

You will not fail your baby if your baby cries 5 minutes because you are dripping wet from a much needed shower. It is okay to carry your child everywhere you go, because it is just easier on both of your souls or just because it is so snuggly to feel and smell your baby. Your baby will grow up to be independent when he is ready for it, not when society thinks your baby should be ready. 

You know, a calm, peaceful and positive parenting style is really a thing out there. Many reasons why it is good and it truly works. Keep it up, the rewards show with time. Your child will be fun to be around. I know it is a hell lot of work, but it's worth it. Trust me.

You will enjoy being with your baby so much. To this day being with our babies is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am counting my blessings every single minute of every day. Even if they drive me bonkers or won't sleep. It will pass. the hard times make you a better parent.

Don't rush time. Things will happen when both of you are ready. In the meantime, enjoy the ride. There is so much to see, do and wonder.

Trust yourself. Venture out and find new things and new approaches who makes your babies and you happy. All should be truly happy. If they are not. Change must be made.

Dear self, thank you for being such a good sport about growing, although it sometimes hurts. Good times are coming, good things are happening. Right when you think they won't. 

Truthfully, your future self.